Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize