areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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