it was like having sex with a tree stump
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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