forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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