I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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