he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My ass is underappreciated
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
