i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
