when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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