Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
