I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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