WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
