she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
