Fuck appropriateness.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
