Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
