I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
