Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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