I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
how drunk are you?
Several
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
