I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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