I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
this will be a night to untag.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
