So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
