Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
