Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
