wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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