People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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