I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
