Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
