my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
