she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize