why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
nutella sex= disaster
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
