nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
you never un-have a 4some
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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