Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
well you can't waste a boner
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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