just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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