You're completely useless in the revolution.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
