I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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