Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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