I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
