What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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