I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
