Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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