Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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