Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
