somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
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I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
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It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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