Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
