Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Text me some of your sweat
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