he wants to bone in the snuggie
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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