i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
false alarm, still single
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
