tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
