Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
