Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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