it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
