Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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