The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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