I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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