We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
