you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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