That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
