Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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