Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
