It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
