I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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